Friday, November 1, 2013

My Halloween

I rarely talk about anything work related, but something so funny happened yesterday, I just had to share it. Let me give you a bit of background. The company I work for does a huge St Jude's charitable month in October. We host a huge golf tournament, we sell pumpkins for a $1 in our stores, several stores host their own things (yard sales, etc). It's a big deal. Not to toot our own horn, but we raised over $120K last year, which is absolutely incredible for the size of our company. 

Anyway, the corporate office, where I work, doesn't really have the access to customers or anything that the stores do to raise money. So we just do a few small things. Bake sale, pay to dress up for Halloween, etc. We have also started doing a Chili Cook-off. This was our 2nd year to do it, and we had a good turn out. 6 entrees, all delicious. I just enter for fun, well, and because this girl loves to eat. But this year, I actually won!! Super awesome, because I never win anything. Well, there's one person that is definitely in it to win it (in a funny way - not in a crazy competitive way...well, not totally in a crazy competitive way). And for 2 years in a row now, he's placed 3rd. And I was warned that there would be hell to pay since I beat him this year. Attached below are the emails we've exchanged. Oh and the first one is for this cool health competition/support group we're starting up. Yeah, I know, I work for an amazeballs company. Feel free to be jealous. :)  

Me holding my prize for First place! 

Initial email I sent out to everyone:

Happy All Hallow’s Eve everyone!!

In honor of the most treat-consuming Holiday, a few of us thought it might be fun to work together to get healthy!! I've attached the spreadsheet with examples for you to look over. Here are the rules:

On the starting date, which is next Monday the 4th, you will report to me what your goal for that week is. It could be anything you consider healthy, i.e. to lose a lb or 5 lbs or to walk/run 3 times or to not eat fast food or to not drink soda or whatever. Then, one week later, on the following Monday morning, you will report to me whether or not you were successful in meeting your goal. I don’t need to know specifics (like your current weight or goal weight or anything), just a simple “yes, I rocked this week” or “no, I didn’t quite pull through”. You will also report what your new goal for that week is.

Now, here’s the incentive. For every successful goal met, you will put $1 in a jar that will be located in Lisa’s office. For every failure to meet your goal, you will put $2 in the jar.

This contest will last for 6 months. At the end of 6th months, those still participating will empty the jar and splurge on something fabulous (maybe dinner out for us all or a pizza party or bowling….we’ll decide together).

One thing to note, we will take the week of Thanksgiving and the week of Christmas off.

If you’d like to participate, just shoot me an email and I’ll get you added to the spreadsheet. Also, if you have any ideas on ways to make this contest better, please let me know. Our ultimate goal is to help each other get and be healthy and happy.

Thanks a bunch!


His response:


This is coming from someone who obviously uses the 27% fat content in her chili. It wouldn't surprise me if you infuse a little pig lard in it for texture and smell factor. I know people love that stuff.

My chili actually burns more calories during the digestion process that you consume by eating it. Doctors have prescribed it instead of beta blockers for people who have suffered a heart attack. All the hundreds of other health benefits are still being studied.

My goal and the one I recommend for everyone,

                Eat more of (name removed for privacy)’s chili!

And my final response:

Uh, excuse me, kind sir. The reason your chili, aka Scorch-My-Innards-In-A-Crockpot, could potentially burn more calories when your digesting it is because your body has to work overtime to stop itself from keeling over. It feels like it just ran a 5K from all the work it has to do.

My chili basically walks itself out of a purely organic garden. The beef used in it comes from a cow that was so pampered it was fed nothing but dandelions and honeysuckles in its life. When it was time to butcher, it floated in a beautiful ballet dance all the way to the butcher block and batted its pretty eyelashes before it met its maker. It died with a smile on its face, knowing it would nurture my dear co-workers bellies.

The onions and peppers were harvested by fairies that sprinkled a bit of fairy dust and love over each one. The tomato puree was smashed by the hands of blind nuns in Tibet. The spices were flown in from fields in Italy. The crockpot used was washed with water from the Pyrenees mountains, then blessed by the dear Pope himself.

You are actually getting younger as we speak, just from it touching your lips. You’re welcome.

Moral of the story: We take our Chili seriously around these parts. Oh and I won I won I won!!! :)

Happy Friday everyone! 


  1. That is too funny! Congrats on whipping his tail :)

  2. I almost pee'd while reading this. I am glad you won and smoked his a**!

  3. I got so many laughs out of this! Thank you for sharing.

    WOO FREAKIN' HOO for the awesome win! Go you!!!!!

  4. Ahahaha! Well done, you! Chili ought to be about flavor, not liquifying your innards. So there. :D