Thursday, April 10, 2014

First Baby Bump Pics

I have no intention of writing a weekly update on my pregnancy. At least not at this point. However, since I have officially taken my first "bump" pics, I figured that was a good enough milestone. Plus, I haven't really talked much about my actual pregnancy. Only about the sickness or about the blessing of finally being pregnancy. So, here goes nothing.

Length of pregnancy: 17w1d.

Weight: I'm still down 4 lbs from my starting weight of 174 (gulp on sharing that - but I'll want to remember this someday).

Cravings: Nothing specific. I went so many months hating food, that now I'm just busy making up for lost time. Although Chili's Southwest Eggrolls kind of rock my world. And McAlister's Iced Tea. And steak. I am sort of into steak. And also any kind of potato. Ok, maybe I do have some cravings.

Dreams: Dude. I've heard that pregnancy dreams can be a little different. I've always had pretty vivid dreams, but that did not prepare me for straight up crazy that I've occasionally experienced. Someone recommended that I keep a dream journal, which I really need to start. Because some of them are so out there, I wouldn't even want to share them with the public. Last night's dream involved me, my dad, his dog and us being stranded on a super creepy island that was haunted by a terrifying green ghost that occasionally turned into Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter. It was very detailed, and we had a huge struggle to try and get off the island and save Max (his dog whom the ghost apparently had a weird crush on) and ourselves. So weird. And really stressful, for a dream.

State of Mind: One of my co-workers asked me the other day if I liked being pregnant. She has 3 kiddo's herself, and did not enjoy being pregnant and knows that I've had a rough go of it. My initial response was "uh, no. No way." Then, I really started to think about how I'm feeling right now. In this moment. And I have to be honest, I LOVE being pregnant. Yes, the first trimester was awful. And I still have days where I'm incredibly hormonal, or queasy, or exhausted. But, for the most part, I feel like myself right now, except for this big ol' belly. A belly that I never imagined I would feel much affection for, but that I happen to be totally in love with. I know I'm showing much earlier than a lot of people, just because of my body type. But even at 17 weeks, my center of gravity already feels off. My back hurts. I feel a little waddley when I walk. I just feel pregnant. Even without feeling any movement - at least movement that I recognize as movement, I'm starting to finally feel a connection to this tiny little creation inside of me. My friend sent me one of those at-home dopplar thingy's in my pregnancy kit, and we broke it out last night. And I got to lay in my bed, with my husband and puppies next to me, and listen to my child's heartbeat. I mean, does it really get any better than that?
What I'm looking forward to most: Finding out BOY or GIRL, of course. Which, it just so happens, will be next week. Holla!!! I think I'm leaning towards BOY at this point. I'll be thrilled either way, of course.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

16 Weeks - and prayer request

Before I dive in and finally update everyone on the fact that I'm still alive, I wanted to request some prayers for my best friends' two little kiddo's. Her oldest, the sweetest 4 year old on the planet, just spent 3 days in the hospital for a several stomach virus that really hit him hard. And now, just when he starts to mend, his 3 year old sister gets hit by it, and has now been admitted as well. It's really taking a toll on their tiny little bodies, and my best friend and her husband are probably at their wits end right now. So please say a prayer, not only that these sweet babies will heal quickly, but that their mom and dad will stay healthy.

So, just a quick update on where I am in life. 16 weeks, baby!! I feel like it has flown by. Maybe spending the first 13 weeks not caring about anything other than surviving helped with that. ;) But I'm really feeling great now. Queasiness is all but completely gone. I still get a whiff of it occasionally, but nothing I can't handle. My appetite is back. I haven't really had any weird cravings. I've been kind of into steak lately. And french fries. But I always like those so...yeah. And, drumroll please....we find out the gender 2 weeks from today. Wahoo!! I'm so so so excited!! Though I won't post it until 2 days later, so Tony can tell his folks in person.

Oh and I also forgot to mention, I PASSED MY GLUCOSE TEST!!! I found out on St. Patty's day, but have been so busy catching up on life (since it was basically at a standstill during my first trimester), that I haven't remembered to mention it. So thanks for all the good wishes there.

One last thing; I want to send a big thank you out into the universe for all the support and caring and understanding I've gotten. Not just from my family and friends (though I've gotten loads from them), but just from sweet people I work with and "bloggy" friends, etc. It truly has been so touching and made this experience feel even more special. I'm so grateful to be here, experiencing this. Thank you, God!

Happy Hump Day!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Sugar Mama, I am NOT!

Howdy! Guess who has two thumbs, continued slight morning sickness, and failed her first glucose test? Oh yeah. This girl right here. Which means I get to go in this week for a 3 hour test. Boo. Hiss. Boo.

And, if I'm being perfectly honest, I don't think I'll be passing the 3 hour one. I mean, I'm already on Metformin and I failed the 1 hour. So how bad must it be? I'm so glad I had to take one so early and will find out now so I can make the necessary changes ASAP and hopefully still have a normal and healthy baby and pregnancy (please, no 12 lb baby, please, no 12 lb baby).

In other news, I finally had cake today. I recognize the counter-productiveness of that act with the topic of this post, but I have been craving me some cake lately, and one of my dear friends pulled through today. Hallelujah!! So what if it pushes me over the edge on my glucose test on Friday? If I'm that close, I'd rather just know so they can continue to closely monitor me and help me to make the changes necessary to be awesome. I mean healthy. Not awesome. Healthy. Who am I kidding? I do mean awesome.

Oh and finally, today is the last day in my first trimester. WOOOOHOOOO!! I'm feeling good. Today is day 3 of being Zofran free. The sun is shining. The tank is clean. THE TANK IS CLEAN? (Name that movie? Hint: Finding Nemo).

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Where I am Spiritually Today

In case you haven't noticed, I haven't written much about God or church in....quite some time. And if I'm honest, it's because God hasn't been in my heart or on my mind in the last year or so. And there's no particular reason why. I didn't have a "falling out" with Him. Nothing happened at the amazing church I had started to settle into. I out of the habit of thinking about Him. That sounds ridiculous, I know. But it's true. Going to church, or living in His Faith is a lot like going to the gym. When you're going, it feels good. You feel good. Life just seems better. Brighter. Happier. Church is like that, but times a million. And, much like going to the gym, once I miss a few times, the habit is gone. And then it just seems impossible to ever get back in, regardless of my good intentions. Every Sunday morning has been like that for almost a year. And I'm not only saddened by this fact, but I'm slightly ashamed. Today, out of all the times in my life, is a day that I need to be praising Jesus and thanking Him for our incredible blessing.

On that note, I've been listening to Pastor Craig's Podcasts today. He's doing a series called "Being Rich", and it is so good! Just what I needed to hear. If you're interested or searching or feeling a little lost, I would really encourage you to go listen to the series. Money is truly a necessary evil, and I know I depend on it way way way too much. I think about it. I worry about it. Even now, when I'm feeling blessed beyond all belief with this baby, I feel the stress and fear of our future finances clouding over everything. And I'm sick of it!! And the only way I can get any relief is by handing it off to God and trusting in Him to see us through.


I hope this Sunday is the day that I finally get my lazy behind out of bed and get back to see Pastor Marty.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

12 Weeks (less a day)

Good news? Duh, I made it!! Last week in the first trimester. Holla!! Bad news? I still kind of feel like poop. It's better than it was, but it definitely hasn't magically disappeared.

Things I'm starting to notice:

My belly's getting harder. Which I only notice because I have a very *cough* soft and chubby *cough* belly, so any firmness is noticeable and welcome. I keep making Tony poke me, which completely freaks him out. Haha!

Food is starting to become appealing again. Nothing crazy, but there are things that make me want to puke less than others. Like cucumbers. And I had the gardenburger at Red Robin last weekend, and it rocked. my. world. I'm also way more sensitive to sugar than I used to be. I had a glass of iced tea at home the other night and was gagging because it was so sweet. And Tony said he put the regular amount of sugar in it (which really isn't a ton). So now he's cut that amount in half. Which I think is really good for both of us.

People continue to be really sweet to me. And are always very interested in what's going on with us and the future with our little bebe. I really do love it, but at this point, my whole goal has been to survive. I really haven't thought any further than getting out of the first trimester. Once I feel better, then I'll start thinking about names and decorating and baby shower stuff and all the goodies that come along with this. One thing I did realize, though, is that our baby will come before all the best Holidays this year (Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas). And let's face it, kids totally make the Holidays more fun. So that really excited me. :)

Something that really caught me off guard is when my friend said something to me about "mom shaming". Now, I know what pet-shaming is and it is high-larious!! Honestly, one of my favorite things on Pinterest.  Mom shaming is apparently a litttle less positive. Apparently there's the whole "keeping up with the Jones's" mentality in some circles. Like "OMG you didn't breast feed" or "OMG you're not using cloth diapers" or "OMG you had an epidural and didn't give birth drug-free and 'all-natural'". Yikes! I never realized mommy's could be so judgy. And though I finally feel like I'm a part of the pregnancy "club", I don't want any part of the mom shaming club. My goal for pregnancy, labor and parenting is much like my goal for my first trimester - to survive. If that means an epidural and a direct shot of heavy duty pain meds, then so be it. I have every single intention in the world to breast feed. I know, breast is best, yada yada. But, sometimes it doesn't work out. And if it doesn't work out, I will not be beating myself up over it. We've prayed for a long time for this blessing, and I intend to enjoy every bit of it (again, after the first trimester) and won't give a second thought to anyone or anthing that doesn't share in my joy and isn't there to support whatever decisions Tony and I decide to make. If I've learned anything from my friends and family over the last 3 years, it's that there is no "right" way to parent. There are a hundred "right" ways. A thousand!

Thought I'd share a couple of the pet-shaming. That stuff is fuuunny!!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

10 weeks, what what?!?

Guess what? I feel like a human being again!! Woot woot! I've still got some queasiness and fatigue, but nothing I can't handle. I've even made plans with my parents to go to this cool Civil War Re-enactment on Saturday. Which is big news for me, let me tell you. I haven't been able to focus on more than an hour in advance for weeks. Oh and I'll try and take tons of pics to entertain you with, for those of you that are as cool nerdy as I am.

A few things I've started to notice about being pregnant:

1. People no longer ask how I am. They always ask how I'm feeling. Which my friend warned me about, but I personally thinks it's sweet. And kind of funny.

2. People are nicer to me. And maybe it's because I've really been in a good mood (surprisingly good, actually), but I've really noticed that people go out of there way to talk to me and ask me how I'm feeling haha. I'm really grateful though. I feel like I'm surrounded by a huge support system. Which is especially good since I've told everyone so early.

3. The whole 3 year plan we've had of not finding out the sex of our child went right out the window at about day 2 of knowing I was pregnant. I NEED to know. I think partly it's because I still don't feel a real connection to our baby and I think knowing the gender will help connect us. Plus, I just really want to decorate the nursery and stuff with gender-specific stuff. First world problems, I know. But after dreaming and planning and imagining for so long, I don't want to just settle.

So far, my biggest complaint is the constipation. The morning sickness was really awful, but I got that fairly handled a couple of weeks ago with the Zofran. But its side effect has been a beast! But I'm truly so grateful and excited that even that doesn't seem as dire as it probably would have once felt.

I also want to throw huge accolades to Tony. Sorry ladies, but I married the absolute best man in the whole wide world!! He has seriously SERIOUSLY stepped up to bat for me the last several weeks. I haven't lifted a finger, or my head, from the couch when I'm home and he's not only not complained, but he's compensated for it. He's kept the kitchen clean, he vacuums, he cooks dinner (if there's ever something I can bare the thought of), he lets me watch my shows. He has truly been incredible. Not that I doubted he would be. But I'm sure it's really hard on him to not only continue to carry his regular, very strenuous day job and then come home and take care of me, the pups, and our house. I guess one could say I'm just breaking him in for life as a parent, right?

Oh and belly shots. It's still early days, but I want to remind everyone (or just tell for those that don't actually know me) that I pretty much always looks like I'm about 6 months pregnant. I'm carrying around about 35 extra lbs right now and I'm lucky enough to carry most of it in my middle. It's funny, when people that don't know me find out and they ask how far I am and I'm like...."Not nearly as far as you think I am". Haha! I'm not offended though. People have asked me a few times over the years if I was pregnant. It never really felt great, but it's just how it is with me. At least I'm fairly thin every where else. Oh and I have a BRILLIANT personality. ;) Hehe.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

With Friends Like Mine

I just wanted to give a special shout out to my 2 closest friends. They've both been ears to hear me complain and shoulders to cry on and big sources of hope for us, each in different but equally effective ways.

They both surprised me with the cutest pregnancy "care packages" in the last few weeks. And though both boxes are still sitting on my kitchen table with their contents scattered everywhere, I'm finally seeing light at the end of my "first trimester is no fun" tunnel so maybe I'll finally get some of the goodies out and use them. :)

I have used the Preggie Pops. The Warheads were KUH-RAZY sour!! I managed one for about 3 seconds and had to spit it out. Kelsey (responsible for this box) is clearly a bad ass.
Definitely going to start using this stuff soon. My winter skin is not muy bonita.

Cute little baby toy. So sweet!

Box of staples Kaleena found useful during pregnancy.

Plus a cool pregnancy book for Dad. :)

Seriously, girls. Thank you both so much!! Not only for the thoughtful boxes, but for just supporting me not during the last 3 years of infertility, but for the last few years (well, a couple of decades in Kelsey's case and only a couple of years less than a couple of decades in Kaleena's) of our friendship as well. :) Love you both!