Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Where Has the Time Gone?!?

I was emailing 2 of my best friends this morning on final touches for my baby shower and I had a big epiphany. My baby shower is Saturday. Holy I'm-Only-7-weeks-out-from-my-due-date Batman!! Seriously, this pregnancy has flown by. And I can't put my finger on why. Though I do have a few theories:

1. God knows that if your pregnancy drags on, you may only do it once. And we definitely don't need a world full of "only child" children running around here. I mean, some are great. But siblings build character. ;)

Me restraining myself from hurting that cute face - character building. Him learning that big sis is always right - character building. ;)

2. Being pregnant makes you pretty self-involved. I'm a relatively self-involved person anyway, but being pregnant is a full-time job. I swear that sounds crazy, but it really is. Always watching what you eat, feeling uncomfortable, finding clothing that fits, buying crap for a baby that you don't know anything about other than, possibly, their gender, trying to think of names, imagining the changes you're going to be facing soon, worrying about labor. Seriously, full-time. So between that full-time job, my full-time job of being a wife and mama to my 4-legged babies and helping Tony take care of our house, plus the full-time job that actually pays me a salary, I am exhausted all the time. And when you're so busy being exhausted and worrying about yourself, time flies. Otherwise, you'd have plenty of time to sleep, which would alleviate the exhaustion.

3. There's a lot of preparation that goes into having your first kid (see above). I mean, there are actual laws about how to do things with babies. For example, you can't leave the hospital without an installed car seat. You also can't leave them alone at home and you have to feed them and clothe them and shelter them. Are these logical laws? Of course. But it's still an adjustment on our every day now. Not to say that we currently neglect any babies or our dogs. I'm just saying, the well-being of this tiny human, down to the very air she breathes, is solely dependant on us. That's heavy stuff.

4. Pregnant women pee. Constantly.  I mean, in the last 4.5 hours, I've peed at least 6 times. I get up at least twice every night to go. So if I added up all the time I'm just sitting on the toilet peeing, it's probably equivalent to 1/3 of my pregnancy. Ish. Talk about a time-waster.

Speaking of God, though, he has really helped a girl out this summer. Oklahoma has had some record-breaking cool weather. Heck, this week we're having another "polar vortex" roll through with highs in the 80s. The 80s, my friends. Usually Oklahoma is an arid desert of 105 by this time of year.  I'm super grateful for that!!

Oh and one other thing I've been so grateful for, which I know I've mentioned a few times already - my darling husband. He has stepped up and helped out so much. So so much. Especially in the last several weeks when this pregnancy has really started to slow me down. I honestly don't know how people without partners or support systems do this. I really don't.
He would kill me if he knew I posted this. Here he is, napping and holding my purse, while we wait for the Dr to come in on one of our regular check ups. Bless his heart. He's just going going going going all the time. This man needs a serious day of rest.


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Daaahling.....I'm Ready For My Shoot

Last week, a friend of mine, over at Amanda Up, was sweet enough to take some photos of me with my loves. As you can tell, my 2 smallest (currently) loves were less than cooperative. Charlotte, on the left, is clearly annoyed and probably thinking "you have GOT to be kidding me - we're having ANOTHER baby?!? I just got used to that brat, Bonnie." While Bonnie, in the middle, is probably thinking "What do you mean, I'm not going to be the baby anymore? I didn't agree to that!" Tony is sure in for a rough ride, having a house full of girls. ;) Amanda got a couple of good shots before we gave up and made them go inside.
We got a few of our ideas from, you guessed it, Pinterest. Amanda isn't a professional photographer (yet) but she's got a creative eye and an artistic soul. We weren't the easiest subjects to work with. Tony really has a tough time with it. If she said turn to the left, he'd take 4 steps to the right. But I think she really did a great job!! Plus, we had a ton of fun doing it!! She took a bunch, but I'm just putting a few on here for now. There may or may not be a birthday coming up, and they may or may not be getting pictures of us. Greatest gift EVER, you say? Agreed.

This is one of the cute one's we "borrowed" from Pinterest. And whatever filter she used on here is awesome!!

Just for funsies, my also-expecting SIL and I took a couple of shots together. I doubt we're ever pregnant together again, since my brother apparently wants to wait 100 years between kids (which is totally doable when you're 24 - not so much when you're 30 and 36) so no need to let the moment slide by.

Oh and we also just found out that my brother and SIL are having a baby BOY!!! Yay!! I'm so excited!! In a weird way, I feel like I get to have one of each. I mean, Tony and I are already Aunt and Uncle to our precious 5 year old niece and nephew, so I've had some practice. We also have a couple of step-nieces/nephews that we love dearly. But this baby is my baby brother's baby. MY BABY BROTHER'S BABY!! HOLY TOLEDO!! And for anyone that knows me, knows I'm very motherly and very close to him, so this is a big deal to me. I also just found out that my brother officially finally got to re-take his PT and he passed with flying colors!! Waaahhoooo!! Which means he may be home soon, but only for a short time before they officially start their 3 year stint in Germany. *tears tears tears* Waaaaaaaa!!!

Does anyone else find picture taking uncomfortable? I am just always so "aware" that I have a tough time relaxing and just enjoying myself.


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Heartburn, Peeing and Punching Bags, Oh My!

Before I get started on my update, let me just answer the 3 main questions I get asked on a regular basis:

  1. I'm due on September 17th.
  2. We're having a girl.
  3. No, we don't have a name picked out.

It cracks me up that this is seriously the same series of questions I get asked by almost every person. And I always try and remember if I would have asked those questions of a pregnant lady, but at this point, I barely remember my own name, so I have no idea. And I don't mention it because it annoys me. Quite the contrary. I think it's sweet that people are curious. I just think it's funny that people are so consistent. Moving on...

Best parts of pregnancy so far (in no particular order):

  • Feeling the love and blessings from our friends and family. People are genuinely happy and excited for us, and it is so touching to see it and experience it.
  • Feeling my daughter kick and push and pull and flitter and hiccup all the time. It's truly the most miraculous feeling in the world.
  • Having the "I'm pregnant" card close at hand to use when I want to veto dinner choices or need help lifting things.
  • Planning all the fun things we get to do with our child. Let's face it, all Holiday's are better with kids. And she's going to be here before the best ones: Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Is it too soon to start thinking of costumes? I didn't think so.
  • Watching Tony's eyes light up every time he feels my bump. I forget that he doesn't experience movement with her all the time like I do, so seeing his joy and happiness when he finally does get a reminder is awesome.
Worst parts of pregnancy (also in no particular order):
  • Holy heartburn, Batman!
  • Having to pee anytime I stand up. And knowing that she hasn't even turned yet, so it will only get worse once her head rests directly on my bladder.
  • Being a punching bag for my daughter. The movement is amazing, but now it's so strong that it can occasionally startle me. Which is embarrassing. Particularly when I'm in a meeting and I yelp really loudly. Not that that would ever happen to me.....
  • Fear. I didn't know what anxiety was until it hit me about a week ago that this girl hasn't to come OUT OF ME. And I'm constantly torn between the fear of an epidural vs. fear of the pain. And no amount of knowledge, labor stories, good intentioned people, etc. will offer me any comfort. Bottom line - I have very little control (if any) of how she's coming into this world, and that Scares. Me. To. Death!
I often wonder if people judge me for having any complaints about pregnant, considering we wanted this for so so long. And then I think to myself, "who cares if they do?" I mean, I'm thrilled to pieces that we're finally having our own child. Babies are awesome and we're going to finally have one of our very own. However, there's just no preparing how your body is going to react to pregnancy. 90% of my days are fine I feel good. I get around just fine. My mood is great. But occasionally, I have those days where I just feel so dang pregnant. I feel swollen and huge and uncomfortable and weak and listless and grumpy, all at the same time. And now that I'm firmly in my 3rd trimester, I can feel those days getting closer and closer together. Bending over is harder. Sitting up is harder. Rolling over is harder. I mean, it's not like it's impossibly harder. It's just weird having a certain awareness on new limitations. Things that I've always taken for granted, you know?

Exciting news on the baby front though....we're having a friend of mine shoot some maternity photo's of us tonight. And I think I'm going to get some shots with my SIL, who is 16 weeks pregnant as well. Plus, I got another piece of wall decor for her room today, I have every intention of painting her dresser and nightstand this weekend, and I think I have a firmer idea of what shelf Tony needs to make for us. :)

Oh, and this weekend is the anniversary of two pretty spectacular people:

You guys!! How did you guess? It was the spectacular part that gave it away, wasn't it? ;) I can't believe that we'll celebrate 6 years of marriage on Saturday. And the best part? I'm happier today than I ever have been. And I can honestly say that I've felt that same way for each anniversary. Marriage just gets better and better. The trick, you ask? Marrying your best friend. Definitely. Oh and marrying someone that's handy. Saves arguments on fixing stuff.

Here's a little roll of some pics of my favorite couple. Hehe!





Monday, June 16, 2014

I fell victim to an apparently typical pregnancy choice...

I cut my hur!!

So yeah, funny story. I sat down in my stylists chair and said I wanted it short and I wanted it blonde. She looked at me like I was crazy and said "no way, Jose". I told her I was serious, but I didn't want it too short to put in a pony tail. That apparently reassured her that I hadn't lost my crazy, pregnancy mind and off we went. And I have to say, I was scared to death. When she pulled that pony tail from behind my back, I almost went into panic mode.

9 1/2 inches of tangly, constantly-falling-out-and-catching-on-everything mess!!
But then we added the blonde in, gave me a fun summer look, and I felt a ton better. Well, I did have a total breakdown when I left and called my husband sobbing, but I figure that's just par for the course. And he was so dang sweet about it that I moved on quickly.

I posted this on FB over the weekend and got the most amazing responses from my friends and family. Pregnancy isn't always the prettiest thing in the world, and there were a lot of years that I thought I would never get to be here, so I'm grateful and humbled for the incredibly kind words.
Finally, this pretty little thing is what I call our "love lily". We bought this little beauty a couple of months before we got married, and she's come back bigger and more beautiful every year. Well, except this year. This year she's a little scrawny. But we had a very dry Spring, so I'm sure that's why. Anyway, here is the first bloom of the season. It always makes me smile.


Thursday, June 5, 2014

25 down, 15 to go

You guys!! It's been far too long since I've posted anything. Thank you to everyone that's emailed me to check yell at on me. :) I have no excuse. I'm busy, like the rest of the world, and just haven't been in the mood to write anything.

I've had so many people tell me to DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT my pregnancy. And guess what? Epic fail. The first trimester was so dang awful that I would never want to remember that. And the 2nd trimester has felt just like normal, every day life. For the most part.

There are a few things about pregnancy and just being a woman that I've learned in the last 6 months though. I'm going to list them out because lists are fancy. You are welcome.

1. Women's bodies are wondrous things to behold. It's amazing how much weirdness we're built to sustain. That God, he sure knows what he's doing.

2.  I alternate between feeling like I have absolutely zero control over my own body, my life, my whole world to feeling like I am a total bad ass that is LITERALLY CREATING LIFE. It's the darnedest thing.

3. For all my lack of crazy hormonal emotions, road rage is a very real thing. It's like I save all my irritability for the 20 minutes in the evening that I drive home. And you would think I would feel super protective of my unborn daughter (oh, yeah - it's a GIRL for those that don't know - woot woot!) and want to drive even more like a Grandma than I already was accused of pre-pregnancy do. Oh no. Between the "work sucked today and I really need a bowl of cereal" and the "it's been a whopping 15 minutes since my last potty break so obviously I need to pee again", I'm ready to be the eff home. And for some reason, people have managed to completely forget that the left lane is for PASSING ONLY and for traffic going faster than everyone else. So get the heck out of the way if a car (particularly MY CAR) is coming up on you!!

4. So yeah, peeing. I was already known to be quite the pee-er before pregnancy. I've always claimed to have a small bladder so I sort of thought I knew what to expect. Oh hell no. If I stand up, I have to pee. If I LOOK at a water bottle, I need to pee. If someone takes a shower within 5 miles of me, I need to pee. It's probably my least favorite part about this whole pregnancy. It's really going to make the road trip to NC with Tony and his parents this summer uber-fun. Yippee.

5. Gestating babies like to move it move it. And that is no joke. I felt, or at least started recognizing her moving at around 21 weeks. And the feeling is absolutely the most amazing thing. It feels like tiny little fish tails are rubbing around in your lower abdomen. Or like a little baby bird is taking a bath and doing that weird shaking thing they do. I. Love. It! Feeling her move and knowing what a miracle and blessing it is that I'm here in this moment is indescribable.

6. So yeah, movement. Guess what your husband will eventually find to be annoying? When his wife yells at him every 20 minutes, "hurry up, she's moving again, come try and feel" and then the second he drops whatever he's doing and gets by his wife's side and she slumps her shoulders and says "nevermind, she stopped". You would think there wouldn't be a limit on the # of times he would try before he stopped running. But actually, there isn't. And honestly, he has never gotten annoyed. For 2 weeks straight, I'd make him come hold my belly and nothing would happen. I'd be disappointed because I so badly want to share this miracle with him, but he just shrugs his shoulders and says "it will happen soon" and goes on about his business. Well, guess what finally paid off? My persistence and his patience, buddy. Oh yeah!! He finally felt our daughter move last night. I had just laid in bed and she was rolling up a storm in there (which is good because she'd been pretty calm for a few days and I was slightly concerned). Tony came out of the restroom, heading to bed, and I said "wait, come lay behind me and cup my belly like I am now." He did, and he laid there for a second and I felt her move and he said, in total awe, "was that her?" And then she really moved a couple more times back to back and it was obvious he could feel her and we just looked at each other and smiled and fell a little more in love with each other in that moment. I mean, holy cow, we've done this. We've created this little acrobat in my belly that will be ruling our lives in a little under 4 months. How cool is that?!?

7. I've lost my train of thought. I was kind of tearing up thinking about how special that moment was. And then my little girl just shoved some appendage into some organ in my middle abdomen that caused severe pain so my tears switched gears pretty quickly. :)

Aaaah, the joys of pregnancy. I have lots more to share, but I'll stop for now. Happy Friday Eve to me. And to you. I think we all are working for the weekend.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

First Baby Bump Pics

I have no intention of writing a weekly update on my pregnancy. At least not at this point. However, since I have officially taken my first "bump" pics, I figured that was a good enough milestone. Plus, I haven't really talked much about my actual pregnancy. Only about the sickness or about the blessing of finally being pregnancy. So, here goes nothing.

Length of pregnancy: 17w1d.

Weight: I'm still down 4 lbs from my starting weight of 174 (gulp on sharing that - but I'll want to remember this someday).

Cravings: Nothing specific. I went so many months hating food, that now I'm just busy making up for lost time. Although Chili's Southwest Eggrolls kind of rock my world. And McAlister's Iced Tea. And steak. I am sort of into steak. And also any kind of potato. Ok, maybe I do have some cravings.

Dreams: Dude. I've heard that pregnancy dreams can be a little different. I've always had pretty vivid dreams, but that did not prepare me for straight up crazy that I've occasionally experienced. Someone recommended that I keep a dream journal, which I really need to start. Because some of them are so out there, I wouldn't even want to share them with the public. Last night's dream involved me, my dad, his dog and us being stranded on a super creepy island that was haunted by a terrifying green ghost that occasionally turned into Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter. It was very detailed, and we had a huge struggle to try and get off the island and save Max (his dog whom the ghost apparently had a weird crush on) and ourselves. So weird. And really stressful, for a dream.

State of Mind: One of my co-workers asked me the other day if I liked being pregnant. She has 3 kiddo's herself, and did not enjoy being pregnant and knows that I've had a rough go of it. My initial response was "uh, no. No way." Then, I really started to think about how I'm feeling right now. In this moment. And I have to be honest, I LOVE being pregnant. Yes, the first trimester was awful. And I still have days where I'm incredibly hormonal, or queasy, or exhausted. But, for the most part, I feel like myself right now, except for this big ol' belly. A belly that I never imagined I would feel much affection for, but that I happen to be totally in love with. I know I'm showing much earlier than a lot of people, just because of my body type. But even at 17 weeks, my center of gravity already feels off. My back hurts. I feel a little waddley when I walk. I just feel pregnant. Even without feeling any movement - at least movement that I recognize as movement, I'm starting to finally feel a connection to this tiny little creation inside of me. My friend sent me one of those at-home dopplar thingy's in my pregnancy kit, and we broke it out last night. And I got to lay in my bed, with my husband and puppies next to me, and listen to my child's heartbeat. I mean, does it really get any better than that?
What I'm looking forward to most: Finding out BOY or GIRL, of course. Which, it just so happens, will be next week. Holla!!! I think I'm leaning towards BOY at this point. I'll be thrilled either way, of course.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

16 Weeks - and prayer request

Before I dive in and finally update everyone on the fact that I'm still alive, I wanted to request some prayers for my best friends' two little kiddo's. Her oldest, the sweetest 4 year old on the planet, just spent 3 days in the hospital for a several stomach virus that really hit him hard. And now, just when he starts to mend, his 3 year old sister gets hit by it, and has now been admitted as well. It's really taking a toll on their tiny little bodies, and my best friend and her husband are probably at their wits end right now. So please say a prayer, not only that these sweet babies will heal quickly, but that their mom and dad will stay healthy.

So, just a quick update on where I am in life. 16 weeks, baby!! I feel like it has flown by. Maybe spending the first 13 weeks not caring about anything other than surviving helped with that. ;) But I'm really feeling great now. Queasiness is all but completely gone. I still get a whiff of it occasionally, but nothing I can't handle. My appetite is back. I haven't really had any weird cravings. I've been kind of into steak lately. And french fries. But I always like those so...yeah. And, drumroll please....we find out the gender 2 weeks from today. Wahoo!! I'm so so so excited!! Though I won't post it until 2 days later, so Tony can tell his folks in person.

Oh and I also forgot to mention, I PASSED MY GLUCOSE TEST!!! I found out on St. Patty's day, but have been so busy catching up on life (since it was basically at a standstill during my first trimester), that I haven't remembered to mention it. So thanks for all the good wishes there.

One last thing; I want to send a big thank you out into the universe for all the support and caring and understanding I've gotten. Not just from my family and friends (though I've gotten loads from them), but just from sweet people I work with and "bloggy" friends, etc. It truly has been so touching and made this experience feel even more special. I'm so grateful to be here, experiencing this. Thank you, God!

Happy Hump Day!!